Scattered

Flickering scenes before my eyes,
  myriad channels on display.
From life to life I shift my sight
  falling into half-feelings
  for each beat the stage can stay

An ever-shifting picture of emotions
  plays on the canvas of my heart
  and paints a dizzying illusion of motion.

The me in my mind shifts again
  to yet another seat to see
  and I half-fall, yet again
  into another role to be.

“Hold–please–but a moment
  this knot of life might come undone
  if we but linger and listen
  to the unfolding of its song.”

The me, intrigued, gifts a pause
  and finally I fall fully
  into the deepest blue–
  a loss, a future unfilled,
  a hope dying, and I begin to see–

But the me–I cannot bear
  to feel, to be, so deep, so blue,
  so I shift–the me finds a chair
  from which view another hue.

Half-falling, half-recalling
  the learnings of a half-life past,
  the red of rage half-floods
  and my loose grip of understanding
  is torn away.

And shift, and shift,
  and ever confused,
  and ever amused,
  and ever safe from fathoming
  the depths that is me.

Light scattered
  by rough waves above,
  never quite reaching
  down into the sea.

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